Economically Worthless but Emotionally Priceless

New York Magazine's latest issue explores the correlation of happiness and parenting. The Jenifer Senior article is a great look at the evolution of children in America. The overall takeaway for me is that children will not guarantee happiness over your lifetime, but not having them will lead to regret. "I Love My Children I Hate My Life" - Talk about depressing!

The evolution of how parents view their offspring is very interesting - "Before urbanization, children were viewed as economic assets to their parents. If you had a farm, they toiled alongside you to maintain its upkeep; if you had a family business, the kids helped mind the store. But all of this dramatically changed with the moral and technological revolutions of modernity. As we gained in prosperity, childhood came increasingly to be viewed as a protected, privileged time, and once college degrees became essential to getting ahead, children became not only a great expense but subjects to be sculpted, stimulated, instructed, groomed." Jennifer Senior

My father most likely would agree with The Princeton sociologist Viviana Zelizer who describes this transformation of a child’s value in five ruthless words: “Economically worthless but emotionally priceless.” Children are a drain on parents emotionally and financially - but they also provide a reason for living.

My mother recently told me "You are only as happy as your unhappiest child" - it really made me think about what a tough job it is being a parent - you aren’t signing up for 18 years - you are signing up for a lifetime of worry and selflessness. No one said it was easy - but why does being a parent have to be so hard? The article details a fight between a mother and her 8 year old who will not turn off the computer to work on his homework - ugh - why would anyone want to deal with that sort of daily turmoil? I think of all of the times I upset my parents and wonder why those fights/disappointments are so easily forgotten now - are parents brainwashed to glaze over the bad times, do they have selective memories, or do the difficult moments seem easier or even funny in retrospect? 

This article certainly serves as birth control for those of us who may be approaching parenthood - Brian and I often talk about how we need to enjoy the time before we have children (or a dog). The years of being selfish are limited - so we need to live it up now - travel, make spur of the moment decisions, go out to fancy dinners(without a babysitter bill waiting at home), and take advantage of this time with just the two of us! I love my husband and I love my life!